In 2019 I became an aspiring plant person. Mostly houseplants. I came in with little experience, so this was going to be interesting.

We won’t talk about those that suffered during the first year, you know…out of respect. We’ll just talk about one of them.

From the moment I brought a certain ficus benjamina home, half of the leaves became yellow, then yellower. It did get quite the culture shock moving from a plant paradise to a corner near our trash can. I read they don’t like change and will likely drop some leaves when you move them. Still, it seemed Benjamin was being a bit dramatic. One by one, the leaves detached. Every day there was a new scattering of them to pick up.

This was frustrating. I had to find my type: something with a long-suffering personality. If it can’t come back from a near-death experience, I’m out. So I researched. I dabbled in other plant types with fear and trembling. And you know what? I found ones that can deal with my level of neglect care. 

Two of my favorites are the monsteras. One sits on the bay window sill, another from my sister sits about 8 feet from that window. Actually, I just checked on it and think it needs to be closer to the window. It also may be time to water it again…but see? It didn’t drop dead over it! We’ll see how it does in the next few weeks.

Update: the monstera improved!

But clearly, Benjamin was not the persevering type. I should’ve known since “temperamental” is one of its first adjectives on google. I tried to help without further stressing him out–I made sure he was in the perfect spot, I watered him just right. Nope. He was over it. The common name is the weeping fig, and he wept alright. Over the next three weeks, he wept the last of his teardrop leaves and embraced death with open, bare arms (this dramatic description seemed fitting). 

Although there are fewer plant deaths these days, it’s not uncommon to find my peace lily dragging on the floor or for my husband to empty the watering can on some thirsty soil. There’s the unlikely, but entirely possible discovery of forgotten corner plants. Ahem. R.I.P. to my snake plants. 

If you sit in my living room today, six years later, you may call my thumb green for the 34 surviving plants. Really, it’s that I’ve learned what plants can survive me. And I’ve got a bright window they sit on. And my husband helps me. And I have a list of plants I will not buy unless I become a botanist. 

Maybe you want to improve a skill or start something new. Well, I killed a lot of plants in the early years. Underwatered, wrong size pot, not enough sun, too much sun, too much water! forgotten! But the time, money, and effort were not wasted because the plant deaths (or close calls) informed me; I improved. And now I love it. 

We need a bit of drive to work through the failures and discouragements that will come. Don’t just stare at the proverbial dead plant–learn and move on. Good things take practice and time. 

So start something. Or adjust. While you’re at it, go get a plant for your house or office. You probably won’t kill it, unless it’s a ficus benjamina. 

Plants I’ve Killed:

• Ficus benjamina/weeping fig 
• Snake plants
• Almost any succulent
• Majesty palm
• String of pearls
• Yucca plant
• Bush lily
• Bromeliad 
• Chinese evergreen
• Alocasia
• Arrowhead plant
• a lot more

Plants I’ve Kept Alive:

• Monstera deliciosa (fave!)
• Pothos (extra easy!)
• Philodendron
• Ponytail palm (fave!)
• Aloe vera
• Venus fly trap
• Rubber tree
• Fiddle leaf fig
• Christmas cactus
• Stromanthe
• Asparagus fern
• Aluminum plant
• Umbrella plant
• Chinese money plant
• Some unidentified ones

Until next time,
Maggie