After a few years of dating, Leo and I felt the Lord leading us to marriage. We got engaged after my sophomore year of college and married a year later.

After salvation and a personal relationship with God through Jesus, marriage has been the greatest gift. It takes work and brings so much growth, joy, and life. Our marriage helps us know God better and our relationships with God make our marriage better.

All this being true, becoming a wife in college at 21 brought its own set of growing pains. 

Because adulthood hit me real hard.

I did not know how to run my own household. I saw my mom run our house growing up. I learned from and practiced many things with her. But it’s not the same when it’s your own. And there was not much cooking or cleaning going on in college, if you can imagine! 

Keeping up with the planning, dishes, grocery shopping, cleaning, doing laundry, meal prepping and cooking was very overwhelming to me. It was not coming naturally. This weakness clashed with my sinfulness, making a wicked storm. When it comes to productivity, I think people fall off the wall into one of these sins more readily: there’s a side for those prone to overworking, not asking for help, unable to rest–proud; and a side for those prone to underworking, depending on others’ work, laziness–selfish. 

Well, in my natural state I am more likely to fall off the wall on that unproductive, unmotivated, lazy side. But the days that I followed this sinful inclination to laziness left me depressed and stressed. Which made it harder to get things done, which made me feel worse. These verses came alive:

“The desire of the sluggard kills him, for his hands refuse to labor.” Proverbs 21:25
“The sluggard does not plow in autumn; he will seek at harvest and have nothing.” Proverbs 20:4 
“The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.” Proverbs 13:4

This weak muscle not only affected me, it affected another person! We both needed meals, we both needed fresh clothes to wear, we both needed clean dishes to eat from. Looking back, I wish two things: that I had more understanding for myself but also that I had been more able to stop the self-defeating thoughts and go get stuff done.

Pretending that this was just my personality would’ve led to a world of problems. And the dinners still wouldn’t have made themselves. 

God gave me a model for productivity in several ways. First, Proverbs 31: the description of a woman working hard in multiple jobs, at home, and with her children. Second, my husband: a go-getter of a man. I admit there were times I was annoyed because his work ethic made me feel bad about myself. We had opposite ideas for how to spend Saturdays. But the annoyance was my pride trying to protect the self so hard that it threatened to keep the self from real growth.

I can’t pinpoint what happened. This is partly because it has been gradual and because it is still happening. But, as I abide in Him, God shapes me to love Him more and have an increasing desire and ability to live a life pleasing to Him–all His doing.

“His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” 2 Peter 1:3
“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” Colossians 3:23-24 

He increases my capacity to work. He increases my knowledge and efficiency in taking care of the house: what should be on the grocery list every week and the best way to clean up after dinner. God gave me Leo who honestly still teaches me how to clean and organize things. 

Stepping into adulthood was one of the steepest learning curves I’ve walked. Alright, so it was a mountain: a steep learning mountain. I’m sure when you embarked on this yourself, there was a lot for you to figure out, too. Let’s keep leaning into Christ, abiding in Him and watching to see how He changes us. He is our help and He promises that we will bear good fruit as we abide in Him (John 15:4-6). He has started a good work in His children and promises to complete that work (Philippians 1:6).

It took me a while to reach a place where the running of the house didn’t feel suffocating. It still takes me all week to wash, dry, fold, and put away laundry. For example, literally right now, my oldest child automatically walks to the laundry room to find her clothes for the day. I still have days of being unmotivated and unproductive. But I don’t feel paralyzed anymore and I’m beginning to reap the rewards.

And I’m actually starting to enjoy this. This–the same thing that used to feel like a weight too heavy to pick up. It’s amazing to see how God has helped me; He had very little to start with 8 years ago and we’ve got a ways to go. 

“For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”
Hebrews 12:11

Work hard this week,

Maggie

Other verses referenced
“She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks… She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her” Proverbs 31:15-17, 26-28
“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.” John 15:4-6
“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” Philippians 1:6